i went for a talk yesterday, and a few questions were raised that interests me.
among them:
"how to solve the problem where children nowadays are not being educated by parents, or do not have their parents as role models. instead, they learn a lot from their maids - to the extent of having habits that their maids have, memorising the maid's type of songs and even fluently speaking the maid's first language. that may happen even though these children are sent to good schools, when both the mother and father works long hours"
of course there is nothing wrong with picking the good habits of the maids, nor is there anything wrong with speaking the maid's first language. but it simply reflects how much influence you as the parent exert on your kids, and them as the helper. i'm pretty sure all parents want to have their kids take them as role models rather than the maids.
an answer by a panel was simple: do not have the mother work outside, because in the time of the Prophet s.a.w, mothers are known to be the first hand educators of their children - although he, the panel, acknowledges that women are allowed to work to gain income - but it is not supposed to be the first priority.
however, another panel went on to say that he wanted everybody to look back to the Prophet s.a.w, where the Prophet s.a.w had time for everything - from giving lessons about the revelation; feeding the poor; caring for his wife; played with his grandchildren; leading wars; dealing with the munafiqs; dealing with the kuffar who attacked him; visiting people and much much much more. how did he manage to do all these things in his whole lifetime, yet we know that each and every task was of great responsibility but was managed very very well?
the answer was that because he came together with Allah. in everything that he did, it was fi sabilillah - inna solati, wa nusuqi, wa mahyaya, wa mamati lillahi rabbi al-'alamin. thus, Allah helped him in every single task that he undertook.
coming back to the parents. if we have worked fi sabilillah, insyaAllah our children, even though left at home with the maids, will be looked after by Allah. but of course we must remember that Rasulullah s.a.w applied "wajibul waqt", where things are done according to it's own time. we must prioritise in what we do, the time spent for each different role - as a muslim, as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, as an employee.
it must be noted that a lot of people nowadays do not work for their needs, instead they work for their nafs. that's why we need to re-question ourselves, why am i doing this?
among them:
"how to solve the problem where children nowadays are not being educated by parents, or do not have their parents as role models. instead, they learn a lot from their maids - to the extent of having habits that their maids have, memorising the maid's type of songs and even fluently speaking the maid's first language. that may happen even though these children are sent to good schools, when both the mother and father works long hours"
of course there is nothing wrong with picking the good habits of the maids, nor is there anything wrong with speaking the maid's first language. but it simply reflects how much influence you as the parent exert on your kids, and them as the helper. i'm pretty sure all parents want to have their kids take them as role models rather than the maids.
an answer by a panel was simple: do not have the mother work outside, because in the time of the Prophet s.a.w, mothers are known to be the first hand educators of their children - although he, the panel, acknowledges that women are allowed to work to gain income - but it is not supposed to be the first priority.
however, another panel went on to say that he wanted everybody to look back to the Prophet s.a.w, where the Prophet s.a.w had time for everything - from giving lessons about the revelation; feeding the poor; caring for his wife; played with his grandchildren; leading wars; dealing with the munafiqs; dealing with the kuffar who attacked him; visiting people and much much much more. how did he manage to do all these things in his whole lifetime, yet we know that each and every task was of great responsibility but was managed very very well?
the answer was that because he came together with Allah. in everything that he did, it was fi sabilillah - inna solati, wa nusuqi, wa mahyaya, wa mamati lillahi rabbi al-'alamin. thus, Allah helped him in every single task that he undertook.
coming back to the parents. if we have worked fi sabilillah, insyaAllah our children, even though left at home with the maids, will be looked after by Allah. but of course we must remember that Rasulullah s.a.w applied "wajibul waqt", where things are done according to it's own time. we must prioritise in what we do, the time spent for each different role - as a muslim, as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, as an employee.
it must be noted that a lot of people nowadays do not work for their needs, instead they work for their nafs. that's why we need to re-question ourselves, why am i doing this?
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