i'm a small small girl in a big big world

no. i'm a big big girl in a small small world

:)

back online.

its been a hectic week in office. to the extent that i had to bring files back home. des and i wanted to do a great job, so yeah, we went an extra mile. i've got a file still sitting in my room untouched this weekend, but who cares, will have a peek at it later =p

its funny how i enjoy doing these things. seriously. there was a comment made by TM : "yea, of course you like it now. u've just started working". gaha. that was, um, months ago? i think i almost know when exactly will i start having second thoughts, and before that moment comes, i would no longer be in 'their' sight. it's all planned out roughly, though circumstances will definitely alter it, and everything in Allah's hand.

a colleague voiced her confusion - she had mistaken me to be the elder one (compared to another newbie who was 24). i guess our attitudes were the detemining factor. sometimes i just wonder - why cant i just be immature, dependant and so childish? after all, i'm still so young (that's what other people claim lah)

but then i said to myself : look on the other side, look at all those youngsters who have done so much for themselves AND other people.

just 2 nights ago i was at an open house, one made especially for an AIDs couple. they have been living a very rough life, the girl since small. i was so happy for her, to have found people who are there to support, to wipe tears, to unveil hope He gave us all. i was even more surprised to know the counselors - these are young muslims who have so much potential, so much energy, channeled for the right cause.

i came to thinking - what have i done? just a week before i was gathering with another group of awesome people. they were very much into gold dinar, and oh, how much this japanese muslim girl have done just here in malaysia amazed me.

just the other day i had the most eye opening dicussion i've ever had with a 74 year old. even at her age, she is still making efforts for the betterment of the future generation. still up and running healthy. her son is known throughout malaysia, and oh, without that conversation, i, like thousands of other malaysians would have thought that she is nothing without her son's name. how totally wrong i was. but even with those skeptical views, she just keeps on doing what she can do best for the future generation.

and i asked myself - will i ever be able to contribute that much? but it wasnt a question, really. it's just a matter of choice. i know that if i dont start today, i may not start forever.


p/s: am soooo looking forward to november! my heart just cant help but beat faster everytime i think about it! it's been sooo long since i've been anticipating sooo much (fun and other stuff) from something!