KL is just as it has always been, except that it’s been raining heavily almost every day for the past week. And guess what? I “managed” to drive through one of those not-so-major-floods which ended up tearing my car’s fender liner (or however you spell it), and it gave me a major fright by making weird sounds while I was on my way to bangi. Thank God the guy in the workshop was all cool : he hit the metal thing real hard, and voila, it came back sticking in its original place. I was paranoid that the thing would come out anytime on my way back and come back to making funny sounds. But Alhamdulillah, all was well, and I got the whole thing changed the next day.
So what’s up with life nowadays? My playtime is almost coming to an end. Like, um, in, 8 days? Or so. Well you see, I haven’t had a nice time in office in the whole of my 5 months plus, but it is only in that period did I not lose out on my friends. Well, yeah, they’re the same friends that I’ve had since I don’t know when, but then again, they’re friends who I can count on all the time. All the time. Except for the time you really want them to be on time. *winks*
Someone once commented : “tu laa. atj tak byk bergaul dgn org”. er. What the hell do I care if I’ve never heard of terms like “ikan darat” or whatever else. It just so happens that I mix around with the type of ppl who has never heard of those kind of terms, let alone use them. Or maybe it’s just a plain fact that I don’t get along well with the kind of people they can click with. I may be the not-very-friendly type, but hey, i’m not an anti-social.
On a side note, I requested an ex-colleague to fill in a reference form (as part of the application for the jap forum. The deadline is in 5 days and I haven't completed the whole thing. omg). One of the lines that came back: "Her merits in both interpersonal and communication skills have allowed her to develop strong working relationship with our clients as well as her colleagues". Fine, it's a bit of an exaggeration, but I can't be that bad to actually deserve the earlier comment with that sympathy and shameful sort of expression. Well, he may not have meant it that way, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't affected in the first place. Oh whatever.
One of the reasons I’ve never had a nice time in office : I feel like an outcast. I totally feel out of place. Like seriously. 3 days there, the wires in my brains start to go haywire. Because all I do there is work, work, work and work. I just somehow don’t fit in, even though it’s already been 5 months. That’s the major reason why I’ve been dying to get out of there.
But anyways, the 5 months gave me time to think about the things that I really want in life. Well, not really think about it, but to actually execute it and start the ball rolling – on 3 totally different things in fact.
It was once said to me “so tj, you must have wished that you got the pwc offer in the first place didn’t you. So around this time you’d already happily doing audit, and not have to bother about acca per requirements and all” – that was end of 2009 I think.
That day, I just brushed him off by saying “well you know what, had I been working in pwc, I wouldn’t have been able to go for my Beijing trip. I’m sort of thankful that my application was rejected in the final phase.”
Today, nobody can be happier than I am – for not being accepted that day. I would have missed out a LOT of things in this journey of life, and a LOT of things that I need to build on my investment for the eternal life.
For now, I’ll be working on my thankfulness. That is :
1. Love Allah
2. Recognition of His Favours
3. Expression of gratitude
4. At-taa'ah
5. Not to use those favours in ways which displease Him
Saying that I’m thankful is easy, but to walk the talk isn’t so.
10 years from now, I really want to be able to look back and say that particular two weekends of roller coaster was the beginning of the real journey. Most probably minus that specific guy and minus the son who speaks arabic. The latter is fine, but the former, uhmmm…. *long pause* Well, we did hear out the guy-who-had-a-4's story . We witnessed its possibility there and then. So I won’t say anything much on it, and just tawakkal ala Allah. p/s: only those who attended the HS would understand what I’m talking about.
Last week didn’t start out well, but eventually the week got much better. This week isn’t much of a promise either, but I shall never ever ever want to quit trying. I have made a decision to be in the environment that insyaAllah, will be conducive in reaching my ultimate goal. It may mean financial difficulties here and there, but really, insyaAllah that is the best for me.
You have no idea what kind of heavy heart did I start my 6 months journey with, but Alhamdulillah, in the end, God will always have ways to give what is best for me.
I pray that I will not abandon what I’ve started, and be able to merge the 3 paths + working life to mould into my future self (if there is ever such thing as “mould into my future self”). But you do get what I mean don’t you. Hehe
Ok folks, have a good month ahead.
Ya muqollibal qulub, thabbit qulubana ala diinik.
Picture credits to bestpicturegallery[dot]com
No comments:
Post a Comment